To be fair...this situation is exactly why men say women are so complicated. I told my male friend to stop talking to me so much for two reasons...only one of which I gave him. As I said before one reason was because I felt it was unfair to the other girl for us to be communicating and seeing each other so much. The other reason is what makes it so complicated. I know I told him to stop talking so much and even ignored him to help him to understand....but now I "unfriended" him because he didn't check on me after Kato died. I can imagine how confusing it was to him...he tried to reach out and be there...but he was seeing his girlfriend...I was not going to mess with that...so I told him I didn't want him to call me when he got there. When he asked what happened, I was at a state that I couldn't text it and he was told I didn't want to talk about it right then. He was giving me what I wanted in terms of space...but (here is where the confusion for him comes in) I still wanted him to check and make sure I was ok. I wanted him to text or email when he got back "how are you doing?". I wanted to know that my friend cared. He is not a mind reader....but how do I communicate that? This is what it is like being a girl. I just needed some form of support...but the kind he was giving... I cut him off. I wish I could explain it better...but this is how I feel...no matter how unfair or confusing to him. I don't know how or if it can be fixed.
But the other part of this is my biggest issue (with me and not him). I fell in love with him. He does not know this...how could he? The one and only other time this happened to me...my heart was desiccated. When I realized how I felt, it scared me to my core. I had no idea how to navigate our friendship. I pushed back and put up a wall. So when he started dating someone else, I was devastated. I tried to remain friends with him...but it was more and more difficult. I couldn't do it. I was happy for him and sad for me at the same time. I know that men and women cannot be friends...but I tried to make it work. So that's why when he didn't check on me I was so hurt. I was unfairly expecting more...but I am not what he wants--he has told me so many times directly and indirectly. I had to save my heart because it would never recover. I miss his friendship deeply, but in time it will heal.
I am trying to figure out how to navigate the issue with my female friend. We have been friends for over 20 years. I am so hurt that she is not trying to communicate with me and ignoring my texts. Maybe this is why it happened. For me to review my friendships.
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