The Infamous Pretzel-Sheep

What exactly is a Pretzel-Sheep?  It is my term for the way I feel that women are expected to be today.  We are mired in double standards, communication impasses and interact with potential partners whom have a complete lack of chivalrous training... in some ways this could be a backlash to feminism (more about that in a later blog).  I use this term to describe the experiences where men tell me that they feel that I am "too much" or "not enough" because I do not react in an inane pre-ascertained manner and that my behavior is not decipherable within the confines of the game....


They want me to bend and shape myself into something that I am not...or they want me to follow them blindly (just because they are the man), not having my own opinion.  Yet, my guy friends are frustrated when the women they date have no spine!  You can't have it both ways!  


newsflash!  I don't play the game!  I don't understand the rules!  I have no sense of the correct timing!  I missed that class....and you know after the last few years of dating...I often feel that missing that class is a good thing...especially since it equates to the retention of my spine!  

...when you act like one of the boys they call you abrasive and difficult, so you act like a woman and they say you're emotional and difficult. Difficult being their word for everything that's not them."

-- Kate Reddy from "I Don't Know How She Does It by Allison Pearson

And here is the kicker....what I want sometimes seems mutually exclusive and is often described as wanting it both ways....I want to have a spine AND not be judged on my choice/ability to compromise (a spine is not rigid and can bend when necessary); I want to be respected AND cherished; I want to remain strong AND be able to be a puddle of mush when I need to; I want equality AND romance; I want appreciation AND to be able to help without fear of reprisal....I want someone who can keep up with my brain AND the ability to not understand something without being judged....

onto the challenge of remaining myself...while becoming more approachable....