I met the Marine when my roommate and I went out for the evening early in my senior year of college. He was funny and he seemed interested in my roomie. I became the wing-woman (something I am fairly good at...)... I had very tentatively built a fragile bridge to trust. It had been almost two years....I guess I should try again, I thought to myself....and began scanning the room....the marine stayed with us the whole night...he was ok to talk to...kinda cute if you like the military type... my roommate then told him that I (the designated driver and the only one who had a car) would be taking him home....It might have been nice if she had asked me...but as I would learn...this is how roomie was when she drank.
He became a fixture in our apartment...as my roommate fell deeper and deeper into alcoholism. I was not completely comfortable around the marine... something about him rubbed me the wrong way.... I just couldn't put a finger on it....but he was roomie's boyfriend...I would have to tolerate him. One evening we were watching movies and she passed out during the movie. He talked to me for a bit.....I was trying to be polite. Uncomfortable, I said that I was going to bed...would he need help taking roomie to her room? He said no...and I read in my room. A few minutes after I turned out the light he crawled into bed with me! (I wished I had a locking door!)....I pushed him off and asked him "what the hell was he doing?!". He said that how could I deny that we had had a connection....that he was just using her to get to me...I told him to leave my room....he told me that I turned him on so much that he could rape me right now.....WHAT??!! (this was not said in a menacing way...but still!) I grabbed my cel phone and dialed 911. He became angry and asked my what I was doing...I told him that I had called the police and that if he didn't leave right now, I would have him arrested. He left (after calling me not so nice names).
In the morning, when my roommate finally stumbled out of her room. I told her what had happened. She was pissed with me! I was flabbergasted! She accused me of trying to steal her boyfriend....really?!?! She left to go find him. She didn't come back for two days. I was worried about her...but had no means to contact her. I called her parents and asked if she had gone home. They said no...and unfortunately, now I got them worried! When she finally arrived home...she was still mad....but they "worked things out". For the next couple of days, she avoided me. I was going home for the weekend...I hoped some time would help her out.
When I arrived back, most of my furniture and belongings were gone. She had moved out and took most of my stuff!
I was sad and relieved at the same time. I thought roomie and I were friends. But all too often it seems that women allow men to get in between their friendships. I (as usual) am the different one. I didn't believe a guy worth it to completely diss your friends. Your friends will always be there...through thick and thin....and by my meager experience, guys will not usually be. I understand wanting to spend time with him....but not at the expense of your friends. I really missed something with this class...how do you negotiate friendships with women hell bent on competitiveness over guys?
A few months later, I ran into a mutual friend and she told me the story of what happened to my former roommate. Her parents had come to get her. They checked her into the hospital. And the worst part of it was what I found out about the marine. Apparently, roomie let it slip that I was still a virgin...and he thought he would help me out with that....holy cow! Thank God that he left and really didn't try anything! I can defend myself to a point...but this guy had been a marine...who knows what kind of skills he had?! I was being watched over that day for sure!
After this experience, I really started to think about the phrase I have heard from many girl friends "he only wants sex"....I had really thought that men weren't that base...at least the ones I knew....I would learn as I got older :)
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