Sunday, July 31, 2011

Autopsy File #604

So a friend of mine set me up on a blind date.  Harry Potter lives in Grand Rapids... I can't travel much....so I wasn't sure how this was going to be.   It is much better to have a long distance relationship with someone with whom you have had a relationship with prior to moving.  It is much more difficult to start the relationship long distance.  I feel that you never really know the person because they give you their "weekend" self and you have no real idea about their lives...I view it more as a sham than anything else...  Like the girl who gets upset about the guy spending time with his friends every football game..when he didn't do that while they were just dating....he is being himself and not trying to impress...  this is why I no longer would even consider internet dating.  I have looked just to see who was in the area...but really...what is the point?  I do not want to waste anyone's time.  I will not move from Alpena.... nor in fairness, will I any longer date someone seriously that I can't get to know them and their family and friends in the environment in which they live.


I was going to get off of my soapbox...but I am climbing back on.  I believe in love...I really do.  But I am a very practical person.  I believe that the euphoria of love can sweep logic away...but in the end...how will you build a strong, solid foundation with someone 250 or 1000 miles away?  Phone calls and internet communication leave much to be desired and are really not quality time spent together....And when you are dating you present your best face...as time goes on that wears a little....until you get closer to the true person... beginning to date long distance does not allow this to happen...after visiting each other several times...you realize that you are with a stranger... you have fooled yourself because in the absence someone your imagination filled in the holes for when they were away.  It is like dating someone in a movie...you always get the good times and none of the normal...building times....music swells and there is no negativity...no reality.


So...this was my hesitation over Harry Potter.  But, my friend had been trying to figure out how to set us up for six months...and I figure it wouldn't hurt.  He came to Alpena and was only able to spend one day.  We had a fun time, but things were limited by his and my schedules.  After a few of these visits...he called me...  He had decided that it just wouldn't work.  It was too much travel.  I told him I understood...and I did.  I wasn't that into him to make the effort necessary to sustain a long distance relationship... especially when I didn't particularly trust them....


The issue I had with the whole thing was this...I know logically that it wouldn't work...but I really thought it would be nice for someone to actually want to be with me...to do things like adjust his schedule to see me...to make an effort.   Again, some people are blessed...others are not.

No comments:

Post a Comment