DISCLAIMER

Recently I had a conversation with one of my friends about my blog....she said it was at times extremely negative...and she is right.  The purpose of this blog is to tell my story (as I saw it at the time)...and the journey to this point.  And yes....I DID feel extremely negative and disheartened at various points in the last 15 years of my life.  But that is not where I am at now...yes I still have moments...we all do.   And there are days that I can still be extremely negative....but they are less and less frequent. I am not looking for pity party or trying to be a victim.  I am recalling the steps in this journey and how it has shaped me....and how I am changing my outlook.  The good and the bad are both a part of me.  I have built this great wall of Kim that has attempted to shield me from getting hurt again...and this is part of the process of tearing it down...and truthfully...I am scared shitless.  I try so hard to protect myself...to not be vulnerable...to not show someone that I care or the real me until I know them well enough that I think they won't hurt me.  But that is no way to live...it made me negative...and unhappy....and lonely.  I have had many, many wonderful things happen in my life over the last 15 years....but I have let the negatives that I blog about (the autopsy files)...overshadow those things.  That had to stop.  I am unraveling the pretzel sheep into something completely different...I am not sure what  (but I am sure it has to do with a goat!  LOL)