I waited a few months before I began dating again...this time I decided to try eHarmony. I am not particularly found of internet dating but several of my good friends found the great guys they married on this site. I went out on dates with several people. Only three made it to the second or more date level. The next three files are about those three....
I went out on 5 total dates with the Firefighter. He seemed nice and fun, had a great sense of humor and was cute. I didn't feel a major chemistry...but there was something. The 5th date was a BBQ at a friends house. I was surprised at meeting friends at this stage...but I was going to go with the flow. In the late afternoon he and two of his friends and their girlfriends were going to his house to go into the hot tub. He invited me to come along.
I ran home for my suit and met him at his house (after I got lost 3 times!) One other couple was already there....the other had to check on their kids. Then the other couple decided to go and get beer and I was alone with the firefighter. We got into the hot tub and after a few minutes he became friskier than normal. After my prior experiences, I had held him off by being alone with him in public places....I totally missed this one...I should have known better. I had to stop him....I tried to explain that we were not going there....he asked why....so I told him. I would not have sex with him unless we were in a committed relationship. Oh yeah...he freaked....felt like I was boxing him in! Even though I was just telling him why...not pushing him to go further....after the BBQ and meeting his friends I wasn't sure I wanted to do that anyway. And in a moment of clarity...I asked if that was why his friends left? He said yes. Oh wow....total high school moment there!
I learned that there is apparently no good way to say the truth to a man. He twists it into something else. Don't ask me if you don't want an honest answer. I have tried the other way...talking around it...alluding...it is so much more frustrating for me....probably because I didn't learn how to do it in that class....
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