Upon moving back to Michigan I connected with some friends from high school...they had a Sunday dinner at their house once a month (sometimes twice)...soup in the winter and BBQ in the summer. (I really want to start doing that here...) I was invited to these dinners...this is where I met Mr. WoW (World of Warcraft)....we were competitive on the Wii and became friends. One afternoon I was heading towards his side of town for an appointment and I wanted to have sushi...we both talked about our love of sushi...I invited him to join me...somehow after that we started hanging out regularly (dating)...to the surprise of the group (apparently we seemed mismatched)...It was good for about two months....then we had our first fight.
I had asked him to help me get my kayak...he agreed. He forgot and went to lunch instead. When he didn't respond to my call or text, some other people tried to help me. We ended up throwing it in the back of the Jeep. Shortly after--he called me. I am upset. Somehow he forgot when he told me that he always had lunch on Tuesdays with a friend. "Oops...ah well". I don't ask for a lot of help with things....and I was furious at his statement. He neglected to remember a weekly lunch that has been going on for a year when I asked...and then he completely forgot about helping me when he said he would. It was a mistake....he responded flippantly and did not apologize. I realized that he was being defensive because I am so angry... I take a breath and start crying. I understand mistakes....but I want my feelings to be acknowledged when I am in a relationship (even if they aren't completely understood) I hate being placated and my emotions downplayed (and even being told that they were not what they are or even wrong)--I grew up with that....I refuse to live with that the rest of my life...thank God for adulthood!
So what do I do? I tell him this...I tell him what I need. I apologize for being angry--explain it is the remark and the reaction not the forgetting.... You would think this would be a good thing (clear communication)....but as usual...I have apparently done the wrong thing. We fight. I ask him if he actually even cares...or if this is just a passing time kind of thing....then I leave.
He comes over to my apartment that night. All day long he was thinking about what I said before I left. And he has come to the realization that he wasn't the long term type of guy for me. (I say "ok"--and think in the back of my head...what a cop-out!) he keeps explaining and talking...brings up the heart condition, how he doesn't want anyone to depend on him (again I say "ok"...and I'm thinking...just get it over with...)...and he keeps going....and going....for over almost two hours! I think I have said "ok" 72 times. Then I finally say...I think you should leave...and he does.
Only after he shuts the door do I cry. I start processing what happened. It was the weirdest break up ever. But...it was the best one. He talked to me...explained his feelings...I didn't have to understand--just accept. He respected me to tell me why...and to make sure I was ok. There is a first time for everything! My only concern was our mutual friends....I knew there would be discomfort when we ended up at the same places (at least at first)....and there was.
After a few months...we started talking again...and it was great. It was the first time I had an autopsy WITH an ex. We talked things out...I understood his side...he told me that I was weird because I didn't fight or scream or call names. I laughed and told him...what was I supposed to do? try to convince you otherwise? you don't want me...you don't want me. Apparently, I am different from every other girl he has ever known! LOL I told him I knew that...I missed that class in high school! We realized that we were so much better as friends. Communication is sooooo refreshing (this is the class that people with penises tend to skip en masse). It was a little weird when he started dating and then married his "Tuesday Lunch Date"...but I could tell that it was a great love match for both of them. I was ecstatic! (a little sad for myself at not finding "the one" yet...but happy for him nonetheless)...
WoW helped to show me that there are indeed some decent guys out there. He and I weren't a match...but it gave me hope. I've since lost touch with him since he has a family now (isn't that the way)....but I am glad that I got to know him.
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