I met PTI while I was interning for the Red Cross. He was a volunteer in the Disaster Services area. A few months after we started working together...there had been a few major windstorms in the area...we went from once a week visits to daily over three weeks. We became friends and sort of fell into a relationship....I was lonely, he was lonely....most of our friends were married or in a very serious relationship. He was not really the type of man I was looking for...and looking back...I honestly would never had dated him....I was in a depressive state that made my standards basically nil. Overall he was not a horrible person...he was just not right for me. I know it sounds arrogant, but I could not see myself with someone who hadn't gone to college and who at least came close to my level of intelligence. He did not meet these criteria. We dated for over a year...I knew I wanted to get out of this relationship but at the time I didn't have the courage... I was worried about being alone forever...so I settled. He asked me to marry him (pressure from his parents and that all his friends were)...I said: "sure". (yep...I was that excited about it!) Shortly after that we moved in together to save money....and then he got laid off from his job....and had no motivation to find another one....it was an awful time. My family disliked him and I was being stubborn (cutting off the nose to spite the face!)....
About 4 months into the engagement I had only done one thing to plan the wedding....put a name and a deposit on the hall....nothing else....I had not looked at dresses or even looked for a photographer....this was plainly symptomatic for me...as I am an obsessive planner....I relish figuring out the details of an event....I often plan my time too much :) I was not looking forward to this at all. Thankfully...PTI got a job that was located in his hometown...so the stress of living together and paying all of the bills was fixed. Also...he decided he wanted to get back together with his ex-girlfriend...but I was unaware of this little detail...
I will say that this was probably the most spectacular of my break-ups! I hadn't seen him for about a week because of schedules...I had planned to arrive Friday after work and spend the weekend at the apartment he shared with a friend. My afternoon meeting was cancelled...so I decided to leave early. When I arrived, I saw his car in the drive...I knocked...no one answered. I let myself in (I had a key)....knowing that his roommate worked midnight's....I did not want to disturb....so I went into PTI's room and what did I find? My fiance naked on top of a girl! I almost lost it. I was so angry I was at the place where I couldn't even yell. I said something like "this is an interesting turn of events" and walked out. I got into my car and started to drive off...he ran out in front of my car (naked)...I stopped. He started to say "this isn't what it looks like"...and I told him to give me more credit than that! He just kept talking and apologizing....
I was crying...and not listening to him....but I realized that they were tears of pride and nothing else....I didn't love him...I was actually glad to get rid of him. He was in mid-sentence and I threw the car in gear and never looked back. He tried to call me every day....for about a week. The wuss sent his sister to get the few things he left behind....She asked my how I was...I told her that I haven't felt better in two years! I hocked that ring a little while later.... LOL
I learned that I was selling myself short...I have so much to offer and because I had lost sight of that...I nearly made the biggest mistake of my life! Thank God PTI couldn't be monogamous! That is a deal breaker....I may have just floated along with it otherwise!
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